Could Porn Addiction Recovery Help your Church Grow Spiritually?
I wonder if making porn addiction recovery a focus of our churches is one of the biggest catalysts for spiritual growth at our disposal. What if intentionally engaging porn addiction in church sparked a spiritual revival that we are longing to see? I wonder if making space to talk about this issue could result in a depth of community that our churches have never experienced.
Walking through pornography addiction myself and with many others has shown me that one of the biggest hurdles to overcome in the Christian life is to believe that God loves us – that he has a special, personal love for YOU. Like other secret sins and addictions, pornography usage for Christians is a powerful force of shame and self-contempt, because it is in contradiction to their desire to follow God’s moral will. Being internally divided in this way is a miserable experience.
To the Christian, porn lodges itself as a wall between them and God, constantly reinforcing messages of shame that attack their faith. Whenever they hear the word “sin” or have a moment to “get right with God” before the altar call or to take communion, this voice of shame speaks up about their secret porn habit.
I believe that shame and secrecy stunts spiritual growth. Of course, sin holds us back from living life the way God intended it. But when a person has a safe place to “walk in the light” with others, then there is a huge opportunity for spiritual growth and whole-life transformation. For a lot of men I know, they finally felt safe enough to get help once their pastor or another leader in the church started to talk about the issue in a caring way that invited further conversation.
Once recovery from porn addiction begins, the power of the shame begins to weaken. Building sobriety in a safe, loving community with others on the same journey allows the emotional hold of shame to lift. Although recovery is not a means to earn God’s love, most if not all people I know in recovery can attest that they felt more emotionally and spiritually capable to receive the love of God once they entered recovery. For a lot of us, we just needed other people who knew the parts of us that we hate most to say, “I love you and God loves you. Let’s get up and take a step together.” I believe this recovery journey has profound implications for a spiritual growth as a person begins to experience what Paul talked about in Ephesians 3 when he prayed that the Ephesians would, “have strength to comprehend with all the saints…the love of Christ.”
The people I know in recovery who have walked this journey haven’t stopped at just not looking at porn. For a lot of us, once the shame of dealing with addiction on our own has lifted, we have the energy to delve into growth in a way we haven’t experienced before. I’ve seen men and women pursue God, their spouse & family, and share their experience of faith & vulnerability in a way that they never had before. These are people who have experienced the freedom of walking in the light, learning to accept God’s care for their whole life (spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally), and have become evangelists for this new life of healing. And they’re the people you want as leaders in your church. In fact, they’re probably the people who can be a safe place for you to be honest in your church as well.
If you’re a pastor or leader in your church, then you have more power than anyone else in your congregation to make porn addiction recovery a focus of your church, and I hope that you’ll consider it. I know that there are so many other questions to address on this topic as a pastor. How do you talk about porn in a way that is sensitive to all people in the church? What does recovery look like? What do I need to know about how addiction works? These are all questions that I hope to address here in the future. In the meantime, if you’re a pastor or church leader who would like to chat about this topic, I’d love to hear from you! And thank you for all that you do in leading your church – you are important and I’m grateful for you.